Love Hurts

In A Tale Of Two Cities, Dickens wrote that it is "a far far better thing to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all." Dickens was a sap. Let's face it - when it comes to love, we're all saps. I think the Everly Brothers were much more on target, in finding that love hurts and love scars.

Love's folly is that while it can take you to heights of emotional ecstasy that reach the limits of your imagination, when you fall off that ride, buster, you're like Wiley Coyote with his Acme parachute, only the canyon is bottomless. Bad metaphors aside, love is finite - even when you're in love, there's always the possibility the other shoe will drop. Heartbreak is so much more enduring.

Let me put it another way. Think of your most euphoric love experience. How long did it last? Now think about the most painful. Linger isn't nearly a strong enough word, is it? No one ever stays in bed for a week and hides from society because they are so ecstatically in love.

I've always figured that one of the hardest things to do is write a happy love song. For every "Wouldn't It Be Nice" there's 1000 "Only The Lonely"s. That's because the happy side has a limited spectrum. The initial flutterings, the height of passion and the achievement of contentment. The down side of love? Unrequited love, which is Powerpop topic #1 (I've fallen in love with women who wouldn't given me the time of day. I've fallen in love with women who've given me the time of day and more, and the end results has always been the same), envy, jealousy, betrayal, anger, shame, hatred…the list goes on.

The recent Lucinda Williams album has gotten my wheels spinning. As my review points out, it's not a great disc, but some tunes just cut to the bone, slash away the nerve and leave my soul hanging out to dry. Granted, most 'love gone bad' tunes suck. It's an easy way out, songwriting wise. Often the songs are misanthropic, misogynistic or just misinformed. Still, give me that any day over the contents of so many 'happy' love songs - sappy and gooey - sounds like a Krispy Kreme, but it's oh-so-distasteful.

The glory of love is precious and suspended in ether, which is why it is so hard to capture. Love unreciprocated or lost is thuddingly tangible, heart pangs and a queasy stomach. Trying to put a finger on what makes a perfect happy love song is difficult. The best I can come up with right now is the best love songs don't make me wish I was in love. They go one better - they make me forget my failures.

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